Two and a Half Men S04E03 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

1
00:00:03,557 — > 00:00:06,055
Yo, dude. What up?

2
00:00:07,140 — > 00:00:09,473
Just follow my lead.

3
00:00:09,474 — > 00:00:11,516
Oh, this is awesome.

4
00:00:11,517 — > 00:00:18,183
Eh. It's just a little surf shack where
I keep my board, beer and brother.

5
00:00:18,184 — > 00:00:21,492
How are they breaking today, broheim?

6
00:00:22,102 — > 00:00:24,060
How are what breaking?

7
00:00:24,061 — > 00:00:27,578
- Dude smokes way too much weed.
- Oh.

8
00:00:27,978 — > 00:00:30,228
The waves, Poindexter.

9
00:00:30,229 — > 00:00:34,485
Oh. Oh, the waves. The, uh...
The waves are...

10
00:00:35,230 — > 00:00:37,728
...gnarly?

11
00:00:38,063 — > 00:00:40,230
All right. Let's hit it.

12
00:00:40,231 — > 00:00:42,729
Oh, I intend to.

13
00:00:44,065 — > 00:00:46,439
Why don't you head out?
I'll throw on my suit and meet you.

14
00:00:46,440 — > 00:00:48,938
Awesome.

15
00:00:50,941 — > 00:00:54,358
Mm. Bodacious and tubular.

16
00:00:56,484 — > 00:00:59,318
Uh, excuse me, Moondoggie.

17
00:00:59,484 — > 00:01:01,317
- Quick question.
- Yeah.

18
00:01:01,318 — > 00:01:02,984
You don't surf, do you?

19
00:01:02,985 — > 00:01:04,734
Not a bit.

20
00:01:04,735 — > 00:01:08,443
So how did Gidget get the idea
you were the Big Kahuna?

21
00:01:08,444 — > 00:01:12,486
I told her I hang ten
and I guess she misunderstood.

22
00:01:12,487 — > 00:01:14,486
You're going to hell, you know.

23
00:01:14,487 — > 00:01:18,070
I don't think so. I believe
in a loving God who forgives little fibs...

24
00:01:18,071 — > 00:01:21,279
...as long as they lead
to recreational sex.

25
00:01:21,280 — > 00:01:23,404
You really wanna drag God into this?

26
00:01:23,405 — > 00:01:25,993
Who gave me the penis, Alan?

27
00:01:27,573 — > 00:01:29,488
Since when do you have a wet suit?

28
00:01:29,489 — > 00:01:36,124
Since I moved to the beach and
noticed it was full of hot surfer chicks.

29
00:01:36,783 — > 00:01:43,575
If I lived next to Jellystone Park
I'd have a bear suit and a picnic basket.

30
00:01:43,576 — > 00:01:46,074
Would you get the door?

31
00:01:49,411 — > 00:01:50,993
Oopsie.

32
00:01:50,994 — > 00:01:54,744
Smooth. So just out of curiosity...

33
00:01:55,537 — > 00:01:57,703
...how exactly do you plan
to pull this off?

34
00:01:57,704 — > 00:01:59,412
Simple.

35
00:01:59,413 — > 00:02:02,245
Paddle out, yell "shark" and paddle in.

36
00:02:02,246 — > 00:02:07,692
- So you've thought this through?
- I'm not an idiot, Alan.

37
00:02:09,206 — > 00:02:11,704
Oopsie.

38
00:02:12,456 — > 00:02:14,206
Over here.

39
00:02:14,207 — > 00:02:15,748
Careful.

40
00:02:15,749 — > 00:02:17,415
What happened?

41
00:02:17,416 — > 00:02:20,249
I don't know,
this tiny wave came at us...

42
00:02:20,250 — > 00:02:24,582
...I let it go, he screamed like a girl
and fell off his board.

43
00:02:24,583 — > 00:02:28,292
I had to give him mouth-to-mouth.
He swallowed a lot of water.

44
00:02:28,293 — > 00:02:29,792
He's gonna be okay?

45
00:02:29,793 — > 00:02:33,751
I think so.
He tried slipping me the tongue.

46
00:02:33,752 — > 00:02:36,250
Charlie, can you hear me?

47
00:02:38,087 — > 00:02:39,752
Sha-

48