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NC: Hello, I’m the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don’t have to. Hey, kids! It’s Saturday night!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: School is out!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: The night is young!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: All your friends are free!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: And you can’t drive!
Kids: Fuck!
NC: But thank God Nickelodeon’s got you covered. For every Saturday night, Nickelodeon was kind enough to give us SNICK.
NC: (voiceover) SNICK was a gathering of some of Nickelodeon’s most popular shows, along with a few new ones, that would air every single Saturday night. Their symbol was an orange couch that was so tacky for any homeowner to take in, that they left it outside. Now, I’ve already talked about some of these shows like Ren & Stimpy, Rugrats, and Clarissa Explains it All, but there were a lot of other shows that were thrown into the mix, too. Shows that once again helped Nickelodeon get its identity.
NC: So let’s start with one of Nickelodeon’s biggest hi…funniest sh…let’s start with this.
NC: (voiceover) Roundhouse. Roundhouse was a sketch show that was kind of like that improv group you’ve seen that isn’t really funny, but God knows they’re trying. It was pretty much kids who performed in front of a live audience with no real sets, very few props, and practically no costumes. We were supposed to imagine all those.
NC: Like imagine that I have a remote control. Now imagine that I am changing the channel. Oh, wait. I don’t. (holds up remote) That’s why we have concrete matter. (deep, demonic voice) USE IT!!
NC: (normal voiceover) They would perform sketches, musical numbers and all kinds of other crap while trying to somehow convey a message.
Mac: Hi, I’m Mac McMurray! Trying saying that three times real fast! Mac McMurray, Mac McMurray, Mac Mc — You see? I can’t even say it, and it’s my own dang name!
NC: Remember those lame self-esteem groups that would come to your school, do some sketches, and actually make you want to return to your class? ...Just imagine that in prime time.
NC: (voiceover) In fact, some of these sketches actually seem a little risqué for a kid’s show. Like, they actually use the word “Hell” a few times.
NC: (voiceover) And how about this bit about looking at a girl’s breasts? Really? You’re going to talk about girls’ breasts?
Girl 1: Why can’t I get a guy to look me in the eye? I’ve got brains. I’ve got charm. I’ve got - -
Girl 2: HUGE, heh-heh, problem! Don’t despair because they stare at your pair! Try the crash-your-eyes bra.
Boy 1: Hey, four-eyes. What do you say we go get a milkshake and just talk?
NC: That’s right. If only women had breasts on their eyes! Then we would pay attention to them!
NC: (voiceover) This show would go by so fast that it was actually kind of hard to tell if what you just watched was funny or not. Like, watch this sketch about a game show on bullying.
Boy 1: I’ll take kidney punches for the heck of it –
Boy 2: OW!
Boy 1: –Indian burns because I can –
Boy 2: AH!
Boy 1: –And purple nurples!
Mac: Looks like you need to think of something fast!
Boy 1: In that case, I’ll try running like a bat outta hell for a thousand, Bill!
NC: Dancing? Hi. Why are we dancing?
NC: (voiceover) I mean, what the hell? It’s like they ran out of punch lines, so they just decided to dance. “Oh, no! I have no segue! What should I do?”
Kids: Hooray!
NC: School is out!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: The night is young!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: All your friends are free!
Kids: Hooray!
NC: And you can’t drive!
Kids: Fuck!
NC: But thank God Nickelodeon’s got you covered. For every Saturday night, Nickelodeon was kind enough to give us SNICK.
NC: (voiceover) SNICK was a gathering of some of Nickelodeon’s most popular shows, along with a few new ones, that would air every single Saturday night. Their symbol was an orange couch that was so tacky for any homeowner to take in, that they left it outside. Now, I’ve already talked about some of these shows like Ren & Stimpy, Rugrats, and Clarissa Explains it All, but there were a lot of other shows that were thrown into the mix, too. Shows that once again helped Nickelodeon get its identity.
NC: So let’s start with one of Nickelodeon’s biggest hi…funniest sh…let’s start with this.
NC: (voiceover) Roundhouse. Roundhouse was a sketch show that was kind of like that improv group you’ve seen that isn’t really funny, but God knows they’re trying. It was pretty much kids who performed in front of a live audience with no real sets, very few props, and practically no costumes. We were supposed to imagine all those.
NC: Like imagine that I have a remote control. Now imagine that I am changing the channel. Oh, wait. I don’t. (holds up remote) That’s why we have concrete matter. (deep, demonic voice) USE IT!!
NC: (normal voiceover) They would perform sketches, musical numbers and all kinds of other crap while trying to somehow convey a message.
Mac: Hi, I’m Mac McMurray! Trying saying that three times real fast! Mac McMurray, Mac McMurray, Mac Mc — You see? I can’t even say it, and it’s my own dang name!
NC: Remember those lame self-esteem groups that would come to your school, do some sketches, and actually make you want to return to your class? ...Just imagine that in prime time.
NC: (voiceover) In fact, some of these sketches actually seem a little risqué for a kid’s show. Like, they actually use the word “Hell” a few times.
NC: (voiceover) And how about this bit about looking at a girl’s breasts? Really? You’re going to talk about girls’ breasts?
Girl 1: Why can’t I get a guy to look me in the eye? I’ve got brains. I’ve got charm. I’ve got - -
Girl 2: HUGE, heh-heh, problem! Don’t despair because they stare at your pair! Try the crash-your-eyes bra.
Boy 1: Hey, four-eyes. What do you say we go get a milkshake and just talk?
NC: That’s right. If only women had breasts on their eyes! Then we would pay attention to them!
NC: (voiceover) This show would go by so fast that it was actually kind of hard to tell if what you just watched was funny or not. Like, watch this sketch about a game show on bullying.
Boy 1: I’ll take kidney punches for the heck of it –
Boy 2: OW!
Boy 1: –Indian burns because I can –
Boy 2: AH!
Boy 1: –And purple nurples!
Mac: Looks like you need to think of something fast!
Boy 1: In that case, I’ll try running like a bat outta hell for a thousand, Bill!
NC: Dancing? Hi. Why are we dancing?
NC: (voiceover) I mean, what the hell? It’s like they ran out of punch lines, so they just decided to dance. “Oh, no! I have no segue! What should I do?”
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