Lauren Cooper and Doctor Who clash in class - Classic Comic Relief

Lauren Cooper - Catherine Tate
Mr. Logan - David Tennant.
(Lauren with a friend sitting in the classroom)
Girlfriend: I can not believe that we have two English.
Lauren English so boring.
Girlfriend: I do not see anything of interest in reading.
Lauren: Reading loser-of-the-century.
Girlfriend: At least today we have a new teacher.
Lauren: Yeah, it'll be fun.
(Enter Mr. Logan)
Mr. Logan: Good morning!
All: Good-oh-oh-oh.
 
Mr. Logan: I'm sure you know, my name is Mr. Logan. I'm your new English teacher. Nice to see you all. I hope you're ready to get a knowledge of Elizabethan literature. Let's open the page 53 in our books. I think we're completely immersed in Shakespeare.
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: Yes.
Lauren: You are English, sir?
Mr. Logan: No, I'm Scottish.
Lauren: So you're not English.
Mr. Logan: I'm British.
Lauren: So you're not English.
Mr. Logan: No, but as you can see, I can speak English.
Lauren: I do not understand what you're saying, sir.
Mr. Logan: But, obviously, you know.
Lauren: I'm sorry, are you talking to Scots?
Mr. Logan: No, I mean in English.
Lauren: Well, do not make noise like that.
Mr. Logan: Well, as you wish. So, let's go back to Shakespeare.
Lauren: I think you are not qualified to teach it.
Mr. Logan: I'm qualified to teach you English.
Lauren: I do not think so.
Mr. Logan: You do not have to be an Englishman, to teach English.
Lauren: We have two English and two Scottish?
Mr. Logan: You happen to Lauren Cooper name?
Lauren: Yeah, what?
Mr. Logan: Your reputation is you.
Lauren: Yeah?
Mr. Logan: So, let's get back to Shakespeare's sonnets ...
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: Sonnet - a verse ...
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: ... written in 14 ...
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: ... lines ...
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: ... the last two of which ...
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: ... should rhyme with ...
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: Yes, Lauren!
Lauren: Can I ask a question?
Mr. Logan: Not just now.
Lauren: Can I ask a question?
Mr. Logan: Just wait.
Lauren: But can I ask a question? I just wanted to ask a question. Can I ask a question? I'm just asking you. Can I ask a question?
Mr. Logan: What?
Lauren: You're a doctor?
Mr. Logan: Doctor Who?
Lauren with a friend: It's you!
(All laugh)
Mr. Logan: I do not understand what you are saying.
Lauren: You look like Doctor Who!
Mr. Logan: I'm not Doctor Who, I'm your English teacher.
Lauren: I do not think so.
Mr. Logan: Lauren ...
Lauren: I think you're a Time Lord, who 945 years.
Mr. Logan: ... listen ...
Lauren: You just killed a nose from Mars?
Mr. Logan: Do not be ridiculous.
Lauren: You know your house?
Mr. Logan: What?
Lauren: You know your house?
Mr. Logan: Yes.
Lauren: He's more in it?
Mr. Logan: Silence.
Lauren: You put the TARDIS on the meter?
Mr. Logan:
Please, let's go back to Shakespeare!
Lauren: Hisses, and sit back in the chair.
Mr. Logan: Thank you. So ...
Lauren: You long for Billie Piper, sir?
Mr. Logan: So. (Stands up) You are the most arrogant child that I ever learn!
Lauren: Thank you.
Mr. Logan: You unfunny, wordy and extremely stupid.
Lauren: A bit like Shakespeare.
Mr. Logan: You are not even worthy to mention his name. William Shek ... William Shakespeare was a genius, you're definitely not a little madam. Now just sit down and be quiet, or I have failed you in this trimester now!
Lauren: (Hisses, begins to speak in Shakespearean style) I scrapper? Am I a scrapper?
Mr. Logan: Lauren ...
Lauren: Look at my face.
Mr. Logan: ... I do not ...
Lauren: Look at my face.
Mr. Logan:
... Stop ..