Family Guy Season 5 Episode 2 - Mother Tucker

It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those
good old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
He's a family guy
Oh, this is so exciting.
Maybe we'll get lucky
and see another crash this year.
Yeah, we can get some souvenirs.
Last year, I got an altimeter
and a shinbone.
Eh, this is boring.
I'd rather be home watching
that video from The Ring.
Peter, don't...
they say if you
watch that video you die.
Ah, that's a lot of baloney.
We can build
this thing together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now.
Look, there's Mr. Quagmire's plane!
Ladies and gentlemen,
keep your eye on the sky
for the aerial acrobatics
of Captain Glen Quagmire.
Whoa, gonna need some help here.
All right.
Wait a minute, where...
Oh, my God,
where's Stewie?
Don't panic, Lois, we'll find him.
I'm good at picking
people out of a crowd.
Oh, gosh, this is hard.
Um, yeah, could I get
a better look at number two?
And, number four
could you step forward, too?
Okay, uh, number five,
uh, look at number one.
Look at him like you haven't seen him
in a while and you're happy.
Okay, not too happy,
not too happy.
Pull it back, pull it back.
Okay, and, um,
number three could you say,
"Julie, I promise to get back on
my feet before the baby arrives. "
Julie, I promise to get back on
my feet before the baby arrives.
He's good.
Yeah, he's always good, very good.
Yeah, yeah, okay, thank you.
Stewie? Stewie!
Hey, everybody,
it's Weenie and the Butt here
live at the Quahog Air Show.
We're all ready for
the Weenie sound-alike contest.
I don't know, Butt,
I don't think they can say my
catchphrase, because...
"They no funny!"
Oh, there it is!
And if you think you can say
that just like Weenie here,
you could win 97.1 dollars
for the cool weekend ahead.
We have a butt.
We-we have a butt!
Cool weekends
in the morning, 97.1 FM.
Cool weekends in the morning
with Weenie and the Butt.
WQHG 97.1.
- Ninety-seven point one!
- Ninety-seven point one!
We-we have a Butt!
In the morning, cool weekends!
FM.
Weenie, Weenie, Weenie!
And the Butt.
And welcome back.
Uh, excuse I-I got to find a lost kid.
Can I use your mic?
That's what she said.
Whoa, you got Butt-slammed!
Listen, I could really
use a hand here.
That's what he said!
Butt slam!
That's Manic Monkey on 97.1.
Manic Monkey, 97.1!
Cool weekends in the morning!
All weekend long.
Weenie and the Butt!
In the morning. In the morning.
On the r-r-radio.
FM!
Gimme that.
Stewie Griffin, will you please
report to the radio booth.
Stewie Griffin.
Hey, that's quite
a voice you've got there.
You ever think about doing radio?
Well, uh, I listen to a lot of radio.
Peter and Lois leave the radio on
when they go out
so I feel like somebody's home.
Well, here's my card.
Call me if you're interested.
Hey, okay, we've got
our first contestant.
Let's hear Weenie's catchphrase.
They no funny.
I think we have a wee-ner.
And that's Dicky the Punchline Donkey,
on 97.1.
Dicky the Punchline Donkey, on Cool 97.1!
Cool weekends.
On the radio!
In the-the... morning!
FM.
Cool.
WQHG!
Cool weekends!
In the morning.
On Ninety-seven...
Point one.
Ninety-seven point one.