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It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those
good old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man
who positively can do
all the things that make us
Laugh and cry
He's a family guy
Come on, everybody. Let's go.
Oh, this is so exciting.
This is the tenth year my father's
raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta.
Man, I hope he lets me
on his team this year.
I haven't been part of a team
since I was with the Four Peters.
- Come on, Stewie. Let's go.
- Yes, yes. I'm just checking the mall.
- I say, here's one from the vet.
- Give me that.
Good lord, worms? You have worms?
I don't have worms, all right?
I just got checked for worms.
Oh, wait. No, I do have worms.
Oh, God. What am I gonna do?
I can't afford the medication for this.
- Well, you could ask Lois and the fat one.
- No. No. No.
You cannot tell them about this, please.
Peter is not very discreet
with private matters.
Hey, everybody!
Meg just had her first period!
Peter, shut up!
It's 3:00 in the morning.
What the hell's
going on out there?
Damn it! People are
trying to sleep.
I'm just saying, I'm proud of her.
She's a woman.
Yes, that's very hot,
and I'll deaI with it in the morning...
but right now, I am exhausted.
Just please don't tell them.
Perhaps you should worry
a little less about your pride...
and a little more about
the creepy-crawlies...
shawshanking their way
out of your balloon knot.
Come on, kids.
Off to Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Thank God I finally get some time away
from the eviI monkey in my closet.
Mrs. Babs. Mr. Carter.
La familia Griffin.
Lois, darling. It's wonderfuI to see you.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy.
- Grandpa!
- Hello, everyone.
Hiya, Mr. Pewterschmidt.
Peter, I see
you're still fatter than holy hell.
You can read me like a book.
So, which of the Latin countries
are you from?
The one with the civiI war,
the one with the cocaine...
or the one with the fancy hats?
Isn't this fun, Peter?
You and I get to stay
in my old high-schooI room.
Wow. This looks
just like my room at home.
Yeah, except for all the trophies
and pictures of friends.
That's the second most impressive trophy
I've ever seen.
And the Grammy for Album of the Year
goes to...
Justin Timberlake.
It actually goes to Nelly.
Nelly.
Wow, Mom.
Were you a Miss Teen Rhode Island?
I sure was, Meg, when I was 16 years old.
In fact, your mom
was offered a modeling contract.
Really? Why didn't you take it?
Well, I wanted to,
but your grandfather wouldn't let me.
But, Daddy, they offered me a contract.
My girI is not lowering herself
to modeling.
That sort of uncouth activity
is below this family.
Now go away. I'm busy.
- Farnsworth.
- The usuaI, sir?
- Feeding the worms, are you?
- Stewie, shut up, all right?
Yes, I imagine those little fellows
are enjoying quite a feast.
You know what's interesting?
I've only been allve for six weeks.
I know nothing of the world
beyond this dog's stomach.
And I still find Six Feet Under pretentious.
So, Mr. Pewterschmidt,
the big race is tomorrow, eh?
Bet you're gonna need
some big strapping men...
to help you with your boat.
Are you calling me gay?
No. No, I just thought you might want
some extra seamen...
on your poop deck.
Cashscam is your way
to make reaI money.
You could become rich
beyond your wildest dreams...
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those
good old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man
who positively can do
all the things that make us
Laugh and cry
He's a family guy
Come on, everybody. Let's go.
Oh, this is so exciting.
This is the tenth year my father's
raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta.
Man, I hope he lets me
on his team this year.
I haven't been part of a team
since I was with the Four Peters.
- Come on, Stewie. Let's go.
- Yes, yes. I'm just checking the mall.
- I say, here's one from the vet.
- Give me that.
Good lord, worms? You have worms?
I don't have worms, all right?
I just got checked for worms.
Oh, wait. No, I do have worms.
Oh, God. What am I gonna do?
I can't afford the medication for this.
- Well, you could ask Lois and the fat one.
- No. No. No.
You cannot tell them about this, please.
Peter is not very discreet
with private matters.
Hey, everybody!
Meg just had her first period!
Peter, shut up!
It's 3:00 in the morning.
What the hell's
going on out there?
Damn it! People are
trying to sleep.
I'm just saying, I'm proud of her.
She's a woman.
Yes, that's very hot,
and I'll deaI with it in the morning...
but right now, I am exhausted.
Just please don't tell them.
Perhaps you should worry
a little less about your pride...
and a little more about
the creepy-crawlies...
shawshanking their way
out of your balloon knot.
Come on, kids.
Off to Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Thank God I finally get some time away
from the eviI monkey in my closet.
Mrs. Babs. Mr. Carter.
La familia Griffin.
Lois, darling. It's wonderfuI to see you.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy.
- Grandpa!
- Hello, everyone.
Hiya, Mr. Pewterschmidt.
Peter, I see
you're still fatter than holy hell.
You can read me like a book.
So, which of the Latin countries
are you from?
The one with the civiI war,
the one with the cocaine...
or the one with the fancy hats?
Isn't this fun, Peter?
You and I get to stay
in my old high-schooI room.
Wow. This looks
just like my room at home.
Yeah, except for all the trophies
and pictures of friends.
That's the second most impressive trophy
I've ever seen.
And the Grammy for Album of the Year
goes to...
Justin Timberlake.
It actually goes to Nelly.
Nelly.
Wow, Mom.
Were you a Miss Teen Rhode Island?
I sure was, Meg, when I was 16 years old.
In fact, your mom
was offered a modeling contract.
Really? Why didn't you take it?
Well, I wanted to,
but your grandfather wouldn't let me.
But, Daddy, they offered me a contract.
My girI is not lowering herself
to modeling.
That sort of uncouth activity
is below this family.
Now go away. I'm busy.
- Farnsworth.
- The usuaI, sir?
- Feeding the worms, are you?
- Stewie, shut up, all right?
Yes, I imagine those little fellows
are enjoying quite a feast.
You know what's interesting?
I've only been allve for six weeks.
I know nothing of the world
beyond this dog's stomach.
And I still find Six Feet Under pretentious.
So, Mr. Pewterschmidt,
the big race is tomorrow, eh?
Bet you're gonna need
some big strapping men...
to help you with your boat.
Are you calling me gay?
No. No, I just thought you might want
some extra seamen...
on your poop deck.
Cashscam is your way
to make reaI money.
You could become rich
beyond your wildest dreams...
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