English Jokes 6

The Irish girl knelt (ирландская девушка стала на колени /to kneel-knelt-knelt/) in the confessional (на исповеди: «в исповедальне»; to confess – признавать/ся/; исповедовать/ся/) and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned (благословите меня = отпустите грехи, отче, ибо я согрешила)."
"What is it ("что это" = что ты сделала, что случилось), child? (дитя)"
The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity (я совершила грех тщеславия). Twice a day (дважды в день) I gaze at myself in the mirror (я разглядываю себя в зеркало; to gaze – пристально глядеть) and tell myself how beautiful I am (и говорю себе, как я прекрасна)."
The priest turned (священник повернулся), took a good look (внимательно посмотрел: "взял хороший взгляд" /to take-took-taken/) at the girl, and said, "My dear (моя дорогая), I have good news (у меня хорошие новости). That isn't a sin – it's only a mistake (это не грех – это только ошибка)."

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."
The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin – it's only a mistake."

What is it?

An aged farmer and his wife (фермер в возрасте и его жена) were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen (стояли, прислонившись к краю их свинарника; pen – небольшой загон для скота) when the old woman wistfully recalled (когда старая женщина грустно = с грустью вспомнила) that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary (что на следующей неделе будет золотая годовщина их свадьбы; to mark – выделять, отмечать).
"Let's have a party, Homer (давай устроим вечеринку, Гомер)," she suggested (она предложила). "Let's kill a pig (давай убьем = зарежем свинью)."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head (поскреб свою седую голову). "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered ("Но Этель", он наконец ответил), "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago (я не понимаю, почему свинья должна расплачиваться: "взять вину” за то, что случилось 50 лет назад)."

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

Let's have a party.