Californication Season 3 Episode 7 "So Here's the Thing..."

You're my student. not anymore, I'm not.

This is so not fair.

Previously on Californication...

I've never stepped outside of my marriage before.

Who in their right minds

Would step out on his royal deanness?

Oh, I am flattered, but I.. .

Mmm!

And I'm wet.

Ooh, hard and wet — that's a winning combination.

Hey!

What? not even a hello.

What, were you just gonna leave me behind?

You're saying we just pack up and leave L.A.?

The three of us move back to New York together?

Yeah, end of the semester.

For the first time in my life, I'm actually happy,

And now you want me to pack up

And move someplace I have no friends?

What did you say your name was again?

She didn't. next.

Aaaah!

Runkle is ankling!

Rick fucking springfield is here in my house

Right fucking now?

's pop legend Rick Springfield

Is in there stealing your girl.

You have to out-fuck Rick Springfield.

The only time I ever made marcy squeal like that

Was when I put the ring on her finger.

Destroy me, Rick Springfield!

Christ on the cross, Hank.

My lungs are about to explode.

You didn't have to come.

You could have stayed home

And made the fucky-fucky with the boss lady.

Hey, laugh all you want.

How many people can say

They've been in the same honey pot

As jack nicholson?

How many people in the L.A. phone book?

Ah, who am I kidding?

I used to be Charlie Runkle.

Now...

I'm Runkle!

Hmm. look at us, Runkle.

L.A. has made us soft.

You used to be able to run for the lexington avenue express

With the best of them,

Elbowing investment wankers out of the way.

Your cell phone in one hand,

Your mammoth ball sack in the other,

A hollywood reporter between your teeth,

Not even breathing so you wouldn't

Inhale the fucking piss stench.

Jesus Christ, we're out here 'cause of karen,

Aren't we?

That's right.

The Gods have seen fit to give me another shot

With the soul mate.

She's in New York, feathering the nest,

And I got to be ready for her,

Mentally... physically...

Sexually.

Maybe it's time to stop banging

The entire college campus.

Right you are...

Motherfucker

Right as rain.

It's time for me to grow up, do the right thing.

Easier said than done, though, huh?

Nah, jackie's

She's not looking to make those breasteses exclusive.

And jill, she knows I got a snip and a baby.

And Felicia, I'm just a daydream to her —

An escape hatch from the deanery.

Shit, I can get this done in one day —

Breakfast, lunch, dinner,

Then home for some cybersex with the soul mate.

That's not a bad idea.

You kidding? it's a terrible idea.

The lighting is subpar,

Very difficult to properly showcase

One's dangling majesty.

But it sure beats phone-ilingus.

You wanted to see me, professor moody?

Jackie, my prized pupil.

Come on in. have a seat and shut the door.

Or — or wait. don't — don't shut the door.

I don't know. what — what do you think?

Well, I think you're more of a thrill-seeker

Than I thought if you want to fuck me with the door open.

I know. you know, I-I think,

A-as you got to know me, you'd find that I was

Pretty much of a fuddy-duddy,

Just an old-fashioned —

Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that.

I think that we need to spice things up a little bit.